Family Visit Survival (Nuclear war survival skills) Tips

August 7th, 2008

Tip! However, don’t feel as if you need to limit yourself to one survival knife. Carrying several will only increase your chances of survival in a ’sticky situation’.

Do you know what it’s like to revert back to being a 16 year old when you go home to visit your family for the holidays? We’ve all been there and done that. I know I’ve BTDT.

But, not anymore!

I’ve learned a few handy dandy tips that help me stay in the current decade whenever I make a trip home to visit.

THE OLD ME

No matter how mature and successful I was in my “real” life, when I’d go home - it was like “The Matrix” in reverse. Instead of someone plugging me into a computer to upload new stuff into my head (my synopsis of that entire, complicated movie!), it was as if someone plugged in to me and downloaded all my good sense, self-control, and maturity! Then, as long as I was plugged in - they also reinstalled the old programs that used to run non-stop in my 16-17 year old brain!

Tip! In preparing your survival kit, select items you can use for more than one purpose. If you have two items that will serve the same function, pick the one you can use for another function.

My family is extremely close, and we love each other very much. We have great relationships and always enjoy our visits. I loved (and still love) going home.

But, several years ago, I had begun to notice that every trip home seemed to bring out the worst of me - not because of anyone else, but because I just slid right back into old patterns of thinking and behaving. When I was around the people who had to put up with me “back in the day,” I became the old me.

Tip! Instinctually we all know that the quality of our lives is governed by the law of survival of the fittest.

Disclaimer: Lest you get the impression that I was a teenage terror, I really wasn’t all THAT bad! Right, Mom?

WHAT I LEARNED

The first step towards ‘recovery’ was the awareness of what happened every year.

In my 20s, I just thought it was a fluke that I seemed so moody at home: “It must be the season.”

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In my early 30s, I started noticing the pattern from visit to visit.

By my late 30s, I realized (and admitted) that it had always been ME that was the trouble. I had viewed my trips home as my “right” to throw all my adult responsibilities overboard, and behave like a kid. I didn’t like what I saw nor did I like the result of my immature and selfish behavior.

By the time I reached 40 - (OK, so I’m a slow learner!) - I had learned that my behavior was my responsibility and that if I could simply retain the aspects of my mature life that had improved me, these visits home could be the most pleasurable times of my life!

Tip! Achieving the ‘look’ of physical fitness through surgery, chemical manipulation or inferior physical training and nutrition techniques does not satisfy the survival of the fittest instinct.

WHAT I DO NOW

Now, my visits home to spend time with my Mom and the rest of my family are the highlight of each year. Here are a few things I have learned to do that are practical and simple, but make a huge difference.

Tip! Using physical training to satisfy the survival of the fittest instinct..

1. Identify the daily routines in my life that are essential to me being at my best. For me this includes:

* Devotional/prayer time

* Eating regular, small meals

* Getting up at my normal time in the morning

* Taking my normal routine of supplements and health drinks

* Exercising

Of course, your must-have-routines will be unique to you. The point is, get clear on what those are.

2. Come up with a plan, often written out, as to how I will schedule these daily routines in. I’ll actually picture myself at my Mom’s home, including what room I’ll be staying in - then think through how, where, when I can fit in the things that meet my needs while still being considerate of everyone else and maximizing my time with others.

3. Think through the people I’ll be seeing while I’m home, and determine what the most important thing is that I’d like to share with them in conversation. This makes our time together significant and meaningful, rather than just sitting around the TV or chit-chatting about superficial stuff.

4. Think about what I want to have as a “take away” from this time at home.

* Who do I want to have engaged in conversation?

* What new memories do I want to take away from this visit?

Tip! So if you follow me so far, I am saying that we need to reassess the Darwinian doctrine that ‘Survival of the Fittest’ is the natural order of things. If one looks around at the world one readily notices how buying into this as an acceptable way of being is leading to needless, saddening violence, death and destruction.

* What can I do for others so that they feel blessed and encouraged from having spent time with me?

* What is my ideal outcome?

I think of this as a type of “vision” for my trip.

Since I’ve started to do this kind of “pre-trip planning”, my visits are much more fun, satisfying, and memorable. I maintain my current level of maturity (which, admittedly, could always benefit from improvement!). And we all immediately begin looking forward to our next time together.

Tip! Well, as you can imagine this was the first of many tremendous divorce survival challenges, including..

Think through your own family visits this year, and have a blessed, peaceful holiday season!

Visit LifeHouse Coaching to sign up for “Blueprints for a Dream Life” and receive Edi Sowers’ f*r*e*e* weekly articles, coaching tips, and special offers. Edi works with women business owners who work at home and face the arduous challenge of balancing their personal and professional priorities in order to build their dream life.

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